Weight Gain

In the past year I've gained weight. It's not "healthy, happy weight". It's "eating junk, being lazy" weight. It's not something I'm proud of, but I can't help thinking about the millions of people who are going through the same shit right now feeling as if they're less beautiful or less important.

My weight has fluctuated, but I've never been thin, that's for sure! Something happened in 2018, I just started to go to the gym and didn't stop for 3 months. I lost 15 lbs, which arguably may not seem like much, but to a person who would weigh herself every single day, that was AMAZING.

One day I kind of just stopped being active all together. I realized I hated my college major, my job was a bottomless pit of paperwork, and I pretty much gave up on everything.

Then I got fired from that "secure 9-5" job that I swore was gonna be my career forever. I started 2019 with no real direction, just that I wanted to take risks and put myself out there.

I went on a mission trip, I had a non-paid 6 month internship, I traveled to nine different cities! NINE! It's something I still can't believe I was able to achieve during the year where I barely had a job!

Although 2019 was seriously one of the best years of my life, there is the side that no one got to see. I ate like shit. ALL. YEAR. I don't mean moderately unhealthy, I mean I straight up didn't care what I was putting into my body. For the past couple of months I've seen and felt the effects of so much unhealthy weight gain. I become winded easier, and my pants just don't fit how they used to.

So why am I writing this blog? Did you expect to hear a success story about how I've already lost all the weight and now everything is magically better? Welp this is not one of those stories.

So many people talk about success stories, and I won't shit on them, but I think people deserve to hear the whole story. Yeah sometimes we gain weight, it doesn't mean that life completely stops or that you have to give up on your other goals. I got my dream job this past year, I started a blog, traveled, and fell in love with myself so much! I did all that, knowing damn well that I'm gaining weight !!

It's tricky, I love my body to the point where I don't really see anything wrong with a few rolls or stretch marks. It doesn't bother me enough that I feel the need to actually be active. I was so so wrong. Being active isn't just for appearances. Health + Body Positivity comes before all that.

Starting this year, I'm going to be more health-conscious. Not by obsessively weighing myself, eating nothing but salads, or caring about my pants size! I'm joining Vixen Workout, a dance class that's all about confidence and body positivity! I'm eating at home and I'm listening to my body, FINALLY!

Time to get my shit together and focus on wellness <3